Name: Keratopigmentation.
Age: First described in AD150, but not in a way that would tempt you.
Appearance: Your choice.
What are we talking about here? Corneal tattooing.
Tattooing your cornea, as in your eye? That’s it.
How do you tattoo an eyeball? In the second century, the physician Galen of Pergamum developed a method of cauterising the cornea with a heated probe and then applying a dye made from pomegranate bark, but that’s not how they do it now.
How do they do it now? Procedures vary, but it generally involves making a doughnut-shaped incision in the cornea – with either a laser or a needle – before injecting dye.
Who on earth would want that done to them? Keratopigmentation is often performed to correct a cosmetic disfigurement – corneal clouding, say, caused by disease or injury. Occasionally, it’s deployed to improve the vision of a damaged iris.
Sounds reasonable. Increasingly, however, people are resorting to keratopigmentation just to change the colour of their eyes.
For fun? To improve their appearance and boost their confidence, let’s say.
Can they make them any colour they want? Within reason, but punters are usually changing their eyes from brown to something else: blue, green, grey, taupe, honey, sand.
How much does it cost? It depends, but, for both eyes, don’t expect much change from £10,000.
Any potential side-effects? A few, according to the American Academy of Ophthalmology, including infection, inflammation, light sensitivity, leakage of the dye into the eye and vision loss.
Let me weigh that up for a second … The true risk is unknown, since no long-term studies have been done on keratopigmentation surgery performed on previously healthy eyeballs.
I see. And for that reason the procedure is not available for cosmetic purposes in the UK.
Any other downsides worth mentioning? It’s irreversible, but also prone to fading over time. And if the testimonial photos on some surgeons’ websites are anything to go by, it makes you look like a replicant.
How come? The procedure doesn’t change the colour of the iris; it just dyes the clear cornea that covers it, so the effect is eerily unnatural.
Why would anyone think this is a good idea? Because a lot of TikTok influencers are getting it done and recommending it.
People are undergoing unnecessary eye surgery because people on social media did it? Of course. People ate laundry detergent because people on social media did it.
That was years ago. I thought we’d got smarter since then. I’ve seen only evidence to the contrary.
Do say: “Don’t it make my brown eyes blue?”
Don’t say: “It’s to dye for.”