An unexpected request from a guest has left a couple organizing a relaxed wedding celebration among loved ones struggling with how to respond.
“Feeling guilty,” the bride-to-be, posting under the username Subject_Ad_656, “vented” her experience in a Reddit thread this week.
The original poster (OP) explained that their wedding, to be held at a brewery, was designed to be casual and welcoming, but also structured—they had rented out the entire facility and were covering the costs of an open bar.
Visiting Friends
A friend, who she described as a former colleague she sees about three times a year, asked the OP if the brewery was open to the public during the event.
When he was told that the venue was fully reserved, he expressed disappointment, explaining that his partner, Jane, had three friends visiting from out of town.
Rather than simply accept the situation, Jane then asked if her friends could attend the wedding instead.
Getty Images/Jacob Wackerhausen
Caught off guard, the self-described “people-pleaser” bride hesitated.
Jane attempted to justify the request, noting that two of the guests wouldn’t even drink alcohol. The friend even offered to cover their expenses if needed.
Under pressure, the bride said yes, at first, but soon began to feel “uncomfortable” about the idea of having three strangers at her wedding.
‘So stressful’
The OP later backtracked, suggesting that it might be awkward for them to attend a personal event where they didn’t know the couple.
“The whole wedding thing is so stressful and this made me feel like they don’t even want to go to the wedding,” the bride told Redditors.
Many Reddit users were stunned by ex-coworker’s request.
One commented, “Tell them no. If I was their friend, I’d be super embarrassed to be going to a stranger’s wedding purely so Weirdo McGee can show me the local brewery.”
Another added, “You don’t invite your friends to someone else’s wedding! Bonkers.”
Never Assume
The situation also raised concerns about how guests should approach wedding invitations. According to Brides, etiquette experts emphasize that plus-ones should never be assumed.
“The guest list is a carefully curated group of people, and it might also be based on the wedding budget or the venue capacity,” wedding planner Carina Van Son said.
If a plus-one is allowed, the couple will specify it on the invitation.
Jane’s request not only ignored these general etiquette guidelines, but it also put the bride in an uncomfortable position. Many Redditors suggested that she should have been firmer in saying no.
“If [the] OP doesn’t explicitly say no, then their friend will absolutely show up with the three plus-ones,” a supporter said, “And [the] OP has no idea how these people will behave.”
Beyond just plus-one etiquette, guests are also expected to respect the couple’s requests and not impose changes. Notiq calls on guests to adhere to the couple’s instructions, including respecting the number of invited attendees.
The blog emphasizes that guests should not attempt to bring extra people, as weddings are often planned with strict budgets and venue limitations in mind.
Message Received?
The bride later reflected on how she handled the situation, acknowledging that she may not have been direct enough.
She wrote, “I think I told them no. I didn’t explicitly say ‘no,’ but I said it wasn’t a good idea, and they didn’t push it. Here’s hoping the message was received!”
Newsweek has contacted Subject_Ad_656 comment via Reddit.
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